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Hi lovies,So as you can see, there’s been a few changes & updates around here. My website crashed & I…

actress. lava girl. lover of life. mama. health nut. oil obsessor. 100% organic, in food & in life.

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  • Hello my name is Taylor & I like control // now don’t get me wrong, I love chaos. I’m a chaos creator to my core, always finding something about day to day life that is a little dull. Some high school friends used to call me cherry bomb because I looked innocent but you never knew when I’d blow everything up, just for fun. Here’s the thing, being a chaos creator is not socially acceptable, especially when you have kids. Being someone who pushes themself to attain some bullshit idea of a “perfect mom”, I push that person down. I stuff my bit of crazy in a box that I tell myself is not to be touched, because being a great mom means loosing yourself for your kids, right? I had a chance to meet up with a dear friend of mine who has truly known me since I was a young girl. Talking with him & dissecting the years that we had been away from each other, he awoke something inside me that I felt had been sleeping. I had fallen asleep somewhere after I had gotten married, after our first baby came, after I felt my control slipping. You see, I’m a chaos creator to my core, but it’s only because it’s the chaos that I create. I like to watch things fall apart, it’s fascinating & beautiful. But I don’t like the chaos when it’s out of my control, when I have no plan of how to fix it. It created this deep anxiety in me, this desperate need to control the mess. And living a life where I thought I had to run from chaos after all those years of chasing it, made me what I always feared most; a little dull. Except for those few wonderful moments where I let go & embraced the chaos, when I wasn’t afraid of how chaos would shape my kids, when I was unapologetically me. If I’ve learned one thing from having kids & loosing myself it’s this - control is boring & gets you nowhere.

So my goal is this - to embrace the chaos once again; to remember who I am, who God created me to be. To teach my children that life isn’t always within your control and that’s ok. It’s fascinating & beautiful to watch things fall apart, because that’s when the magic happens...in putting it back together. I guess I’m a bit of a conundrum. I like chaos & control 🖤
  • baby it’s cold outside ❄️🤍
  • just wanted to say a big congrats to Quentin Tarantino for making one of the most amazing films of the last year @onceinhollywood and also for rocking Lava Girl 3D glasses better than most 😉🔥💕 #quentintarantino #lavagirl #congrats #oneofmyfavorites #2005 #onceuponatimeinhollywood #alegend
  • 2 0 1 9 ✌🏼 // this past year has been an incredible year; one with many ups & downs, the biggest highs & the scariest lows. But the thing I’m most thankful for is how much it shaped my relationship with God. I’ve learned to trust in a way I’ve never before, I’ve learned to listen, to hear, to speak with Him in a way I’ve only dreamt about. This year, He showed me how beautiful & wonderful faith can be & how it can move mountains. I begged God to answer one of my hearts biggest questions this year & He answered in a way that only God can. // While dealing with many emotional/anxiety issues, a daughter who was born early, & a mother who was unexplainably sick...it caused me to pause & look at my life. I’ve been a “struggling actor” for years & now that I’m a wife, a mom, a homemaker it left me feeling like this dream of mine could be so far gone. I worried that maybe I got lost off track somewhere & this wasn’t Gods plan for me. I dropped to my knees & begged God for an answer. You see, this beautiful dream comes with so much heartache, so much pain. I cried out to God to ask Him to either take this dream away from me, make me not love it; or help me to see His plan. Days passed, I didn’t receive an answer; I was frustrated but continued to pray. A few months later, He answered. Out of seemingly nowhere I got a phone call from a familiar casting director about a big role in a new film for Netflix. I had no agent, no manager, I had just given birth to my daughter three months prior (who was born early if that wasn’t ironic enough); where did this come from? Then my heart stopped, could this be the answer I was looking for? I dropped to my knees & cried, thanked God for this incredible opportunity & knew that I would never forget this monumental moment. The moment He moved mountains to show little me a portion of His plan for me. I could go on about the other crazy God things that happened surrounding this moment, but that’s for another post. 2019 taught me who I am & gave me a better relationship with God, I can’t wait to see what 2020 has in store ♥️ HAPPY NEW YEAR 🌟

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